Sunshine Shivers

Somehow I am cold and chilled even though it's sunny outside.So here I am with a tie dyed silk shawl over my shoulders.brrrrrrrrrrrrr. I still have pain sometimes, and I've been missing classes.I don't know when the pain will start, so I've been hiding out a lot.I missed a dear friend's birthday celebration and I really regret it. Due to pain. So I've been trying my best to eliminate any feelings or misconceptions which elicit the pain, or make it stronger.

Ah, a nice breeze.

Just thinking...about my time in NL,to be precise. The first day there, and walking and talking with a very sweet and creative woman. I miss that.My friends are scattered all over, and we are all so busy that we rarely can catch up for as long as we all want.

But hey,at least I've got cats to talk to.painting and editing and writing and creating,not to mention studying, to do.

Ok honestly someone has been getting stoned a few houses away for a long time and the smell is driving me crazy now.I think it's my neighbors' son.....wherever I go,there the smell is.

There were HUGE mosquitoes outside when I doing yoga today. I had to kill one,it gave me numerous bites.Of course I apologized and hoped it would be reincarnated mercifully.

I was feeling so icky yesterday, I actually went and bought a book at a...brace yourselves..Barnes & Noble.UGH.I am still in SHOCK.The only reason I went there was because it was on the way back home, and I didn't feel well enough to trot around to all the cheap used book places.I got a book called:

"Lost History, The Enduring Legacy of Muslim Scientists, Thinkers and Artists."

I was hoping to find something like that a while ago,except by an actual Muslim.Me and my silly ethnicity ideas.I think it's imperative to read about perspectives and experiences from the viewpoint of the person of the actual race/identity.

Well you can't be TOO selective I guess.

the sunshine is calling me...c'mon spf 70. Oh what a beautiful blue sky. Thank you thank you for this life.

Wistful Autumn Thinking

I wish to live in a place where autumn actually occurs someday. Crisp air, cooling temperatures, delicious leaves falling to the ground into large piles which I and children play in. The opportunity to wear sweaters and warm socks, drink tea and cider in front of a fire-oh, autumn sure is romantic to me!

Well I did live on Cape Cod, and in Seattle, but haven't lived in those places for a LONG time. So when I was in WA just over a month and half ago (has it really been only then!?!?!) it was truly exciting to pull on my lovely Norwegian sweater, rusty wool tights, hiking boots, and hat to watch the sunset on the edge of the east side. A mug of roobios tea accompanied me, and the colors on the horizon muted, blended and dimmed in a most unforgettable way.

There's always something I love about rainy,stormy weather as well. A sense of excitement envelopes me, and I rummage for a fleece or sweater to pull on right away. Then out comes a good book, and the cat arrives in no time flat, meowing plaintively as her fur is wet. I rub her off with a towel and tuck her in; you must be extra caring with 19 year old felines.

Anyway, up in WA it was so rainy and cool one day, so of course I went off for one of my three hours tromps. That's the word: tromps. It's a combination of wandering and hiking for me, punctuated with sniffing the air and keeping an eye out for my deer friends. Something about being outdoors when it's rainy, moist and cool, is so exhilarating as well as comforting to me. Everything takes on a seemingly new state, which is really hard to explain. There's stillness, but also there is the moisture that is falling, which gives a softness and a transience to nature.

The times I've gone running in a rainstorm are countless actually. Rarely anyone else ventures out, but I adore running in the rain. It kind of represents something for me, emerging and dissolving into another form. The rain keeps falling but you keep going, your cheeks get red, and pretty soon you are just a very drippy person, with very squeaky shoes! But I've rarely felt so free and so happy as when I've ran in the rain.

You should try it sometime.

Openheartedness

Openheartedness

I find this term very important in life. Functioning with an open heart really does change your whole existence and sphere in which you live. The benefits are endless:

-self loving (only when you love yourself can you truly begin to love others)

-honesty in all areas

-acceptance of the transient conditions of our existence (therefore enjoying and appreciating this life to the fullest)

-truthfulness to your self

-leaping beyond limits toward yourself, because once you set a limit, it can be totally crippling

-healthy goals to attain, which you find yourself accomplishing even without noticing at times

-a wide smile and friendly attitude towards those you interact with

-the feeling of true happiness all the time, no matter where or what you are doing

-total self fulfillment.

So go ahead and try to open your heart…once you do, you’ll never look back!

Rambling

It's nice once in a while to ramble. However I seem to ramble quite often. In my dreams,when I talk, interactions, you never know.I tend to think of random things a lot right,right now it's hiking,journeying.

And pumpkins.Hence the orange text.I love pumpkin pie.My favorite desert. Reminds me of the beauty and mystery of autumn.Autumn is beautiful and mysterious to me because I don't really have one where I live.

Imaging the crisp air, smell of leaves burning, beautiful leaves tumbling down from trees, candles and laughter in the evening.

Now I'm thinking of my hiking boots, sitting and waiting in the corner.They haven't been taken on a trip in so long.Part of the reason behind that is that they are so big! Taking up so much room.But they are soft and reliable. Someday, I promise you boots,we'll go fulfill ourselves.

and be rewarded with pumpkin pie.

I Want A Wander

Wandering. That is something I would love to do.Wander and journey all over the world. Of course I would plan where I went first, and safety is always important. However if you are safe in your self, true and strong and motivated, then you will be safe as well.

Kashmir

Nepal

Bhutan

and so many other places.

We are drawn in to " tune in" via computer,iphone,blackberry; who knows what will follow!

I find it essential to tune in to YOU and your yearnings. If you yearn for space and fresh air, don't push it aside as if it is something unnecessary and unattainable, and unimportant. When you do that, you not only limit yourself so much, but you are also breaking yourself down. And that's how you waste your life.

So it's important to listen to your urges,your cravings, what your heart and head and soul are saying.

Once you do, you'll never look back!

A Place For Me

“I know a bank where the wild thyme blows,
Where oxlips and the nodding violet grows,
Quite overcanopied with luscious woodbine,
With sweet musk roses, and with eglantine.
There sleeps Titania sometime of the night,
Lulled in these flowers with dances and delight.”

—	A Midsummer Night’s Dream, William Sheakespeare.

Industries of Artifice

While you tune in,hunch over,rush in lines to see the clothes,the models,the celebrities,the trends,the designers, all the things of artifice, think of those who hunch over sewing machines for hours to create garments and accessories.They are paid about as much as your newspaper costs.

Industry of artifice?

no,thanks.

Industry of inhumanity?

We can say “No,thanks”, but so many have that as their last resort, the only way to get a little money to survive in this crazy day and age.

Thank yourself and at least be aware of the conditions in which your garments and accessories are made. Then perhaps you will act with candor and not support the industry.

Either way, ignorance isn’t bliss…it’s simply pathetic in this day and age !

from the Unpublished Journals of John Muir

” Here calm is so deep, grasses cease to waving…Wonderful how completely everything in wild nature fits into us as if truly part and parent of us. The sun shines not on us but in us. The rivers flow not past, but through us, thrilling, tingling, vibrating every fiber and cell of the substance of our bodies, making them glide and sing. The trees wave and the flowers bloom in our bodies as well our souls, and every bird song, wind song, and tremendous storm song of the rocks in the heart of the mountains is our song, our very own, and sings out love.”

"These beautiful days must enrich all my life. They do not exist as mere pictures-maps hung upon the walls of memory to brighten at times when touched by association or will, only to sink again like a landscape in the dark; but they saturate themselves into every part of the body and live always."

"Civilization makes desolation in the purest, most open newborn fields with their harvests of terrestrial beauty."

"We live in 'creation's dawn'. The morning stars still sing together, and the world, though made, is still being made and becoming more beautiful every day."

Is it? I see malls, suburbanization and urbanization taking over this beautiful planet, raping Nature.

Books

Books books books books,books I do adore!

With the good intention of cleaning up yet again,I found more books I hadn't read:

"John of the Mountains: The Unpublished Journals 0f John Muir" 1938

and a bunch more...and I did this watercolor painting.

Tried to call MA GRASS but no luck.Sigh.Will I ever hear her little drowsy voice again?

GRASSSSS!

Salt

NO-I am not talking about that new stupid Angelina Jolie movie where she is a sexy female international spy yet again. (I have not and refuse to view Tomb Raider)

mmm right now I am crunching on some delaycous rice sea salt organic chips. Ya got dat right.I only does organic.dern tootin!

It's been super hot today.I have been mildly productive.I finished a long paper for my Art Historical Methodology class. tons of blah blah blahing! It was tricky-I'm not sure the average person could pull of that kind of a paper with equal amounts of inventiveness,sanity and elegance as I do.

haha

You had to chose one piece from a museum,only one museum,only the small one on campus...and write about it.No research. Make assumptions about the piece, its history, style, cultural significance,etc, ETC, E T C. So it was a long day for me.

Plus I had to wait till I got better from the stomach virus to go look at it.Which took about four days.I staggered in, sweating like crazy, jotted some notes, took some pictures,and staggered out.

BLAH BLAH

The other accomplishments for the day:

-yoga

-making a mess,then cleaning it up

-watching the cat come in all covered in dust and leaves

-watching the dust and leaves slowly fall off the cat's back while sat down

-buying a nice new bag (Fossil)

-not eating lunch

-buying a lot of organic food

-finally finding an organic exfoliating brush

-being cranky

-being grateful.

Virus

Your lucky blogger has had a stomach virus for the past four days.

It hasn't been pretty-more like sweat,exhaustion,delusion and pain filled.But at least it isn't cancer. Seems to be going away,as well. I miss my friends,interacting, being outdoors,yoga class.I've been cooped up trying to rest and figure out why my stomach is boiling like a cauldron. But I have to just wait it out...to cheer you and me up,some LOL cats...